94: Navigating Feelings
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[00:00:00] Hello, my friend, and welcome to another episode of A Radiant You. I am bursting with emotion today. And I have to tell you that I have gone from the highest, most joyful, bring me the tears and gratitude energy, to the lowest depths of sorrow and grief in the last 24 hours. And I can tell you, it has not been a fun whiplash back and forth, and it has taken some time to reflect and reground for me to figure out all of the feels that have come with the past 24 hours.
[00:00:38] And I have to tell you the good news first, because I've been so excited. For those of you who have been listening for a while, you know that I've been on this journey of trying to grow our family. I miscarried in May and we've been trying ever since to figure out God's will and whether we should keep trying or not.
[00:00:56] And there's been a lot of grief and sorrow and struggle that has gone with that journey. But I'm super excited to tell you that I am not only pregnant, I am having a girl! And I just want to scream the tops of the roofs that I am so excited because I have four boys. And this is the new opportunity for me to explore the world of pink.
[00:01:20] I've never done the whole bum ruffles and bows and just the cute little pink outfits. It's not been part of my world before. And I just bawled. I fell apart when I saw the results of the test that said I am having a sweet little daughter. And it has filled my soul with joy!
[00:01:41] And can I just tell you, everybody I tell is just as excited for me as I have loved it. I've been telling my friends, my family, my neighbors, and everybody is so excited for our family of boys to experience a little girl. that joy was so tangible when I found out. And then the next day I woke up. And I felt so anxious, so anxious that it was that flittery feeling where you know that you just can't quite take a good breath and your body won't settle down.
[00:02:17] I thought, What is going on? Is it work stuff? Is it family stuff? My kids have been sick a lot lately. Am I just feeling frazzled from that? I couldn't figure it out. Well, as the day went on, I thought, "Well, maybe I'm scared of having a girl. I mean, I've done the boy thing four times, so it could just be that I'm scared to do something new. Yeah, that's probably what it is. I'm feeling anxious about having a girl."
[00:02:43] And so I took some breaths and tried to figure out where I was feeling it so I could process it and let it go. And that worked for a minute until it didn't. As the day went on. I just couldn't shake it. It kept building and I felt that background pressure, like that beach ball that you're pushing under the water and the pressure just starts to build.
[00:03:07] You know what I'm talking about. It's when you have something coming up that you feel anxious for or something you're dreading that's happening. And you just kind of want to push that feeling away. I felt myself doing that. My kids came home from school a little bit ornery and I was patient for a while.
[00:03:23] And then something simple happened last night and I snapped. I was yelling. I was frustrated. That anxiety just exploded everywhere all over me, all over my kids. And I had to take a break and go calm down. And when I was in that space, I just felt confused.
[00:03:44] Have you ever been confused about your feelings? You're not sure what's going on. You've tried to hold space for yourself, but you're just unsure. Well, I went through the rest of the evening honestly, tempted to beat myself up emotionally for not handling [00:04:00] things well. And as I kept trying to stay clear and reconnect to my center, I finally knelt in prayer and I just brought it all to my Father in Heaven and said, "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's going on with me today, but I am struggling. Please forgive me for being unkind to my children and for letting little things feel big. And please help me know what I can do."
[00:04:28] And I shared with him some of my feelings about this baby. And the minute I said, and please help this little girl to be healthy. I burst into tears, sobbing, you know. Pregnant, ugly cry where you just can't control yourself. I was sobbing, snot running down my face and I realized it, it clicked the light bulb in my head. I was feeling trauma triggered. Last time [00:05:00] I felt so much joy about being pregnant and having the chance to bring life into this world, I had shared it with my friends and family and others this past spring and was so excited about this new chance that God had opened this door and we were going to have another baby. And then I miscarried. And that joy was snatched out from underneath me, robbed from me. And I grieved a lot.
[00:05:28] I was more affected by it than I thought that I would be. Not only emotionally and mentally, but physically. It took months for me to regain my physical strength and to detox from the trauma and the grief that I had been feeling.
[00:05:45] Well, despite all the efforts I had put in to process that drama and be in a clear place from the miscarriage, my subconscious was struggling to embrace the joy that I'm [00:06:00] feeling for this new little girl because the last time I felt that joy it turned to sorrow. Now, I want you to just hold space for that for a moment. There is something in your life that you've experienced that you may or may not have processed in the past, but it may still affect you. And that can feel frustrating. And I want to take a moment to honor and validate that that is completely normal.
[00:06:32] It's normal for you to feel that grief or sorrow or frustration when things happen that trigger past struggles. And you don't have to resist it or be frustrated with it. Last night as I am bawling and my husband asks me, am I okay? I said, "Yes, I just need to feel this. I need to allow my heart, my body, my soul to grieve. The last time I felt this joy, it was so hard to lose it and giving myself space has allowed me to reconnect to that joy, find what's true, Answer the fears and faithfully move forward with space to see the good and not just fear the possibility of the bad.
[00:07:27] After a few tissues and some hugs from my husband, I had a peaceful night's sleep. And I woke up this morning with just this big desire in my heart, one, to share my amazing positive news with you, because I'm so excited for the new adventure and the ups and downs that are going to come with having a new life in my family and experiencing a little girl.
[00:07:54] I just, like, can't quite articulate the giddiness that I have in my soul right now. I'm wearing a pink shirt that says some things are worth the wait because I just want to capture the gratitude and joy that God is so good to me. And He's good in so many ways, even in the struggle and the sorrow that I went through, but I don't want to let the struggle rob me of the joy.
[00:08:21] What in your life might be robbing your joy? For you to feel connected to that inner radiance, it requires that you give yourself space to feel, and if we turn off the negative feelings, we also turn off the positive. You cannot access joy unless you're willing to have space for sorrow.
[00:08:47] Take a moment and do a quick inventory. Is there something you might be resisting, frustrated that it's popping up in your life? It could be a relationship that you have a child that the [00:09:00] pattern you've been experiencing with them just feels exhausting. And so you've turned off emotionally and you're now kind of robotic, not wanting to feel the frustration or the struggle, but then not having space for the love connection and joy that's also there.
[00:09:17] It may be something from your past that you keep pushing away, not wanting to be defined by it. But if you have space to feel it and then let it go, it helps it stay where it was: in the past. You don't need to bring it into the present and experience it all over again, as if it's now. But simply acknowledging that that was hard for you then, but you have a different path now can help you move forward, know how to create the next step, and not feel that darkness, that heavy cloud that follows you around.
[00:09:57] Instead you can feel lighter, that radiance, inner peace.
[00:10:05] if you don't quite know how to do this. I have really good news for you.
[00:10:10] I've decided once a month to do a free masterclass for anyone who wants to come and workshop some of this stuff to really build that inner strength and find that radiance that's already within you.
[00:10:24] And this next masterclass is How to Navigate Your Feelings. We're going to get into how you feel and where you feel it so you can recognize it and not let it drive you to those moments of explosion like I had yesterday. Because when you are more aware of your feelings you have more capacity to move through them and learn from them. Now I have to tell you, this is not a one time fix all and you're never going to have those rough moments again.
[00:10:56] I have a lot of these tools and I still had a rough moment yesterday, but today I feel clear. And I feel excited and joyful and want to share that with others instead of still feeling anxious and wanting to pull in and hide. Because I was able to use the tools that I have, recognize and navigate my feelings to free myself from the struggle and find the joy.
[00:11:25] You deserve to do it too. So go in and sign up for my free masterclass. There's a link in the show notes, Or you can find me at Stephanie, the light coach on any of my social media platforms.
[00:11:35] And there's information about it there. They're free, they're full of great information and they're right there ready for you to take power of your emotional life so you can move forward with self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-love.
[00:11:53] I'm excited to see what's next for you, my friend. And for my little family who has a little bit of pink coming our way. Take time to celebrate the good today. Have a blessed day.
[00:12:06] You are radiant! But some days it's hard to remember that truth. If you're ready to live lighter and shine brighter, then head over to www.thelightcoach.com and book a free session to discover what's possible. The radiant you is within your reach. Let's find her together.
