108 - Summer Success
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[00:00:00] Hello, my friends. Welcome to another episode of Radiant You. I have been talking to so many moms and women and clients about the transition to summer lately. And it's here. It's like right in front of us. We are ready jumping in to the warmth, the chaos, the schedule changes all of the traveling, the family gatherings, we're starting that journey. And one of the things I've been noticing about myself is that I have not felt as anxious about this summer. And it's been really nice because in the past, when summer comes up, I start feeling a lot of that fluttery anxiety of the schedules are all going to be changing. And the people that I've been relying on, aren't going to be as reliable because they're going to be gone. And four boys in my house which is a lot of chaos sometimes, and feeling like I need to entertain them all the time. There's that energy (even just talking about it you could probably feel it in me, right?) where we just have this, "Oh, I need to control it," or, "Man I'm already feeling exhausted just thinking about it!"
[00:01:08] Have you been in that place about summer? Have you felt that? I'm sure at some time where you've had that time scarcity feeling like you're not gonna get time for your self care. Or worrying about some of the events that may be coming up or getting all your ducks in a row I'm Planning all the things.
[00:01:27] I feel you, my friend. And I just first want to say, whatever you are feeling about summer, it's totally fine. It's normal. Other people are feeling that way too. And like I said, I'm not feeling as much anxiety about it, but it burps up every once in a while that I feel like, Oh no, summer's coming. But it doesn't have to be an emotional roller coaster, because you get to choose how you experience your summer.
[00:01:54] I recently did a masterclass to help people set up for summer success. And I thought, you know, my podcast listeners could use this too.
[00:02:03] So I'm going to take some of those principles from my masterclass and do a little mini workshop version with you here on this episode. It's going to be a little different than you're used to from me, but if you need to pause and ponder every once in a while, as I ask you some questions or maybe even write something down, it might help you have a more successful summer.
[00:02:22] So first off, I want you to just take a moment and reflect how you are feeling. Just taking a breath and do some self reflection. How are you feeling about your summer? You might be feeling totally fine and this isn't something that you're stressed about. Acknowledge that. You might be feeling like there's no time to get all the things you need to done.
[00:02:47] You might be feeling worried about a situation that's coming up with a family member or a reunion or something you might be planning. Whatever it is that's there for you, give it some space. Look at it. It's okay that you're having feelings about summer, so let's just take a minute and think about it. What is it that you are feeling?
[00:03:12] You might have two different types of feelings going on. One feelings about situations in the summer and two feelings about you. in the summer. And what I want to do today is help shift some of the power away from the situations to feelings about you. And that can be kind of muddy sometimes because a lot of times we are judging ourselves about the situations.
[00:03:40] One of the clients I talked to recently has family coming in town and her brain wants to think through all of the ways why it might be frustrating to have them come and visit. And she was not only dreading the chaos that they might be bringing, she was beating herself up for not wanting them to come, for feeling worried about that chaos. And so we detangled some of that and said, "It's okay that they have some things going on in their life. I have feelings about what's going on in their life, and I am okay to feel that way."
[00:04:13] So let's detangle that. Let's say there are some feelings you have about the summer and about the things that are going to happen this summer, and then there's feelings about what you think you will do this summer, or what you're feeling and judging those feelings.
[00:04:29] Are you already assuming that you're going to fail and things are going to go wrong? Are you already beating yourself up for being impatient with kiddos that might be home or the schedule changes that might happen? Give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling about the situation and about yourself.
[00:04:50] It's okay that it's there. You're a human. You have feelings. Give yourself space to acknowledge them. Simply acknowledging those feelings will actually help diffuse it. It's like that beach ball that if you push those feelings away, it's like pushing it underwater and that pressure grows and grows and grows until eventually you can't push it anymore and the pressure is too much and it hits you in the face and you end up feeling more chaotic and explosive at the things around you.
[00:05:22] So we're going to just look at summer. It's okay. Whatever's there. We're going to neutrally look at it and that awareness will give you power to know how to press pause, feel, and then do something to help you have what you need.
[00:05:37] Because remember you are responsible for your feelings. Nothing else that's happening this summer is responsible for how you feel. You're not a victim of the summer. You're not a victim of whatever feelings you have about the summer. You author those feelings and it's your responsibility to care for them.
[00:05:58] So let's not blame the summer for whatever you might be feeling. Give yourself space to feel what you're feeling and then remember to not blame the summer for what's going on. You can take care of your own feelings.
[00:06:09] So that's first step is acknowledge what you're feeling and give it space that it's okay, remembering that those feelings are yours.
[00:06:18] Second step. Now you get to decide. What do you want to create for the summer? We just acknowledged what is and where you're at. Now, what do you want? And I'm not asking you what you want to have the summer look like in your actions, what things you want to have happen this summer.
[00:06:37] *Instead, take a moment right now and ask yourself. What do I want to feel this summer? That shift is the most empowering thing you can do to help you have a successful summer. *
[00:06:50] Because remember, everything you do is to create or avoid a feeling. Feelings are driving your actions. And if you tap into the feelings you want to create, you will naturally have the actions to have a successful summer.
[00:07:07] *So what do you want to feel this summer? *
[00:07:09] Do you want to feel adventurous?
[00:07:11] Do you want to feel calm?
[00:07:13] Do you want to feel connected?
[00:07:15] Do you want to feel structured?
[00:07:17] Do you want to feel flexible?
[00:07:19] What is it that is important to you and why?
[00:07:23] Why do you want to feel that?
[00:07:26] When you get clear on your reason and your feeling, those moments of chaos can be replaced as you recenter and remember your why. What's your why this summer? What's important to you? What do you value? Take a moment to think about that and the feelings that you need to be able to create that this summer.
[00:07:50] Now pick one, just one. One feeling that you want to bring with you this summer. Do you got it? Push pause if you need to think about it for a second. What's your one feeling you want to take with you? Now take 10 seconds and find that feeling in your body. What does that normally feel like when you have it in your body?
[00:08:12] If you're having a hard time finding it You can think of a situation where you've felt that way before but just picture in your body what it feels like. If it's an adventure, is it a buzzing in your hands or a smile on your face or that movement and energy in your body? Or maybe it's peace and connection where you feel that washing blanket over you, like you have released and surrendered the things that you can't control.
[00:08:42] Whatever your feeling is, take a moment to acknowledge how it actually feels. Get familiar with it. You got it? And it can be just one of the things you want this summer, it's okay, but we're just practicing this.
[00:08:58] Now that you've identified that feeling and you've found it in your body, take a minute to think about what you need to believe to have that feeling come with you this summer. Because remember, our beliefs, our thoughts are what create our feelings. We need to believe that it's possible for us to have that feeling.
[00:09:22] If you want peace, but you think you can't because there's all the different things happening, you're not going to be able to tap into that peace. So what do you need to believe to have that feeling? Maybe you need to believe something like, "I am in charge of my peace, not anyone else." Or "I find peace in my breath because breath is always there and it's easy no matter what happens this summer, I can tap into my peace."
[00:09:50] Or maybe if adventurous is what you want to feel this summer, you might practice thinking, "The possibilities are limitless!" or, "I have an adventurous soul!" or something that just ignites that excitement that makes you want to move forward. See how that energy just naturally helps the action?
[00:10:12] *So that's the second step: thinking about how you actually want to feel, being familiar with that feeling, and expanding your ideas about how to generate that feeling on purpose.*
[00:10:26] Which leads us to the third step: visualizing success.
[00:10:31] You've acknowledged how you feel about summer in the first step. Then you acknowledged how you want to feel and how to create that. Now, let's visualize it, picture what you would do, how you would show up to create that this summer.
[00:10:46] *The most important thing here is that you are visualizing you, not anybody else's actions, your actions. *
[00:10:55] Visualize how you would show up that makes it so you're in charge of your experience. If anybody else has to act a certain way for you to have a successful summer, then you're not picking something that you can influence. And that's going to leave you crazy and feeling that chaotic, "I can't do it this summer!" energy.
[00:11:15] So take a moment and think. What does your success look like? How would you show up? If you felt that way, if you felt calm or you felt adventurous or you felt connected, what would success look like for you? And don't just picture the ideal situation where everything's going your way.
[00:11:36] Picture the thing that you're most nervous about that: family reunion or that lack of schedule that might bring some chaos in your day to day. Or if you have kiddos at home that are needing that energy outlet and you're not sure what to do, take a moment to visualize how that feeling might help you succeed in those moments.
[00:11:58] If you need to press pause to do a little bit of a meditation here, go right ahead, but take a moment to visualize your success.
[00:12:07] Can you see it?
[00:12:09] Can you feel it?
[00:12:11] Let yourself soak in what that would be like for you to succeed this summer.
[00:12:18] Doesn't it feel good? It feels awesome when we give ourselves just a moment to succeed ahead of time! We often take so much energy feeling the failure ahead of time with summer. We think through all of the ways that we could fail and then we borrow that trouble now and feel all of that negativity even before it happens, even if it doesn't happen.
[00:12:39] *The opposite is true with success. You can start feeling the success right now. And when you do, it will actually increase your ability to create that success*.
[00:12:50] Life hack, right?
[00:12:52] So that visualization is step number three. Now, as you visualize, and you've been thinking through these, you might be thinking, "Yeah, Stephanie, but I do have these things that are going to get in the way..." That's fine.
[00:13:05] My invitation after this podcast episode is for you to write down anything that you feel is going to be an obstacle for you to be able to have that success. And then next to that obstacle, write down a strategy for how you can overcome that obstacle. Just answer those questions: if this happens, then I have this plan and just giving yourself that plan will help you feel so much more at peace. Because then your brain's not going on autopilot frantically trying to solve all the problems that may or may not happen.
[00:13:40] *Give it space to answer those questions and have a backup plan.*
[00:13:46] And remember, one of the strategies that should be on that strategy list is allowing whatever feelings come up and bringing empowering thoughts to create useful feelings.
[00:13:59] *Those are the four steps to help you create a successful summer. *
[00:14:04] *First, acknowledge how you already are feeling.*
[00:14:07] *Second, decide how you want to feel and practice creating that feeling on purpose. *
[00:14:14] *Third, visualizing what your success looks like .*
[00:14:18] *And then fourth, letting go of anything that you feel like is an obstacle by creating a backup plan strategy for when your brain wants to freak out and say it's not possible. *
[00:14:29] These simple steps will help you have a way more successful summer. And it doesn't even have to take long to do this practice, but I promise you will save so much time and emotion and energy by proactively investing in your summer success.
[00:14:46] You are in charge of your experience this summer.
[00:14:50] So stop borrowing feelings from the future about your summer. Remember that you are responsible for your feelings. Ground yourself in the present moment and you'll have more space for clearer choices as they come up, like saying no to things that you don't have to do this summer, clearing up your reasons, knowing why you're doing what you choose to do. And then having more space to feel joy and relax and enjoy your summer.
[00:15:21] I know it's possible. I'm already feeling the fruits as I've been practicing this in my own life. And I know that summer can be a beautiful thing for you and the people around you. Even if it doesn't go the way that you planned. You can navigate it.
[00:15:38] I believe in you, my friend, and I hope you have a wonderful summer.
[00:15:43] You are radiant and God wants you to remember that truth. But sometimes you forget. Don't worry, I've got you. I've created some free resources that will help you live lighter and shine brighter. Check out my show notes for the links.
[00:16:04] However, God guides your next steps, know that you are not alone on this journey I can't wait to see how you discover a more radiant you.
