106: Identity vs Outcome Prayers
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[00:00:00] Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Radiant You. This is a time of the year where things start shifting for me. I have four boys coming home from the summer and it is fun and exciting and all of the things we go to at school. And I'm also expecting a little girl that I'm super excited about in the fall.
[00:00:25] So I have a lot shaking up my world right now. And I've thought, "It is really important to me to still use my voice and share these podcasts with you and honor where I'm at in my family today." So I am going to do a little bit more off the cuff episodes every once in a while, where I just sit down and turn on the mic and have a moment to share with you what's on my heart.
[00:00:46] And today is the National Day of Prayer. And it brought to mind something that recently has really changed the way that I pray. And I've been so grateful for this gift. I thought maybe I'd share that with you too. It came from a presentation that someone did. I was at a gala for a nonprofit and she was talking about coming together in faith and lifting the world in beautiful, faithful, new ways.
[00:01:12] Her faith is a little different than mine, but we learn from each other when we explore and understand people of different faiths. And one of the things she said that really spoke to my heart was, "Are you praying as if you believe God's word is true?" And I thought, "Well, yeah, I mean, I believe God's listening. I believe that he cares about me. I believe that he helps me be capable..." And so as I pondered that, I thought, "Yeah, I, pray as if I believe that God's word is true."
[00:01:42] But then she took it to the next level and said, "If you truly believe that you are the daughter of a Divine Being who already has those ingredients within you, then the way that you pray should reflect that belief."
[00:01:59] It looks like this: instead of praying, "Father, please give me patience. I need more patience here." You would say, "Father, I am divine and I am Yours. And I know patience is an ingredient you have given me inside of me. I'm having a hard time accessing it. Please help me understand how to tap into that divinity that is already there."
[00:02:28] In that moment, I realized that I had not been praying in a way that truly believed that I was divine. I was thinking about all the things I wanted to do and become and grow and learn that were outside of me forgetting that that divinity is already here within my soul ready for me to access.
[00:02:52] Now I truly do believe that we are in a process of becoming while we are in this earthly experience and it does take work and effort and practice. I can't just say, "Oh God open up the door to patience It's already there. So we're here." But it's a difference of perspective that I'm not having to find something outside of myself. It's already within me.
[00:03:16] James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, introduced a similar idea where he talks about identity based habits versus outcome based habits. Identity based habits are where the real change starts from within you. You believe in your own identity, and then you let that identity drive your action that will naturally create outcomes. Instead of outcome based habits where you think, "Oh, I really want to be the type of person who does that." And then you try and force the actions so that you can create that identity.
[00:03:55] Let's think about it in a situation like exercise. How many of us think, "I'm just not someone who exercises. I want the outcome of being someone who exercises." And so we set these rigorous goals and we use our willpower and we put in those actions to try and make us do something so that we can believe that we are strong or believe That we're someone who exercises.
[00:04:19] What if we flip that on its head, look at our value and our identity and say, "I am someone who already is strong inside of me, who already has the capacity to love exercise." And now I'm going to let that belief in myself drive my action (because we know our thoughts create our feelings, then our action) and then we'll naturally get the outcome.
[00:04:47] *Are we going from the outside in or from the inside out? *
[00:04:53] On this national day of prayer, that's my invitation for you to pray as if you believe you already are capable of whatever it is that you are pleading to your Father in Heaven to give you, or to open the doors, or to solve the problem.
[00:05:12] *You already have the capacity in you. You are divine! He's given you the ingredients. Now you just need divine direction to know how to combine those ingredients so that you can succeed. *
[00:05:26] That's my invitation to you today on this national day of prayer. Take a moment and consider how that might change the way that you think about you and the way that you talk to God. Have a blessed day, my friend.
[00:05:40] You are radiant and God wants you to remember that truth. But sometimes you forget. Don't worry, I've got you. I've created some free resources that will help you live lighter and shine brighter. Check out my show notes for the links.
[00:06:03] Each week I do a newsletter that gives you inspirational tips and tools to move forward one simple step at a time. We also jump in on a free monthly masterclass to discover more of that Radiant You.
[00:06:17] If you are ready to really dive deep and see your life transform with more self awareness, self confidence, and self love you can also book a free Live Lighter session where we uncover the patterns where you are being stuck and see the path forward.
[00:06:39] However, God guides your next steps, know that you are not alone on this journey, and we are here ready to support you. I can't wait to see how you discover a more radiant you.
