104: A Better Yes
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[00:00:00] Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Radiant You. I had the most beautiful conversation with my son the other day, and it helped me have a lens to see God's relationship with us as His children that maybe will help you in those places you feel stuck in your prayers.
[00:00:21] Because as faithful women, we often are praying to move forward with righteous desires of things that we truly want. And we might not be seeing the whole picture.
[00:00:32] So here's a little backdrop of why this conversation happened with my son. Recently, we had some family in town where my sister in law brought her children to come and stay at my house. And my oldest son as the oldest, sometimes feels a little bit lonely in his role of the one who "knows better and is more mature." You know, how the oldest sometimes gets, right?
[00:00:57] And so he was really grateful that these cousins who came were more his age. And as he spent almost a week with them on one on one basis, and they talked about books that were similar and they have similar faith beliefs. And the way they practice in your day to day life, he just felt really at home and comforted being with these family members.
[00:01:21] And we've seen them off and on for years, but they've never been in our home because they live in a different state and they were visiting for the first time. And afterwards, my son with tears in his eyes said, "Mom, I feel so alone at school because people don't get me like my cousins get me. And I just wish that I had friends that really understood me. I am the only one and I just, with all my heart, want to go and live with my cousins because it was just so great this last week having our cousins here."
[00:01:52] Now, from my son's perspective, these were all righteous desires of his heart. He wanted connection. He wanted to share faith and get support from the people around him for the things that he loved and cared about. And those are good things and he's pleading with me as a parent, wanting me to solve this problem for him. But what my son was not seeing (until we had a conversation later) was the unrealistic lens through which he was perceiving what was going on.
[00:02:26] First, his cousins were there on vacation. So there was no responsibility, right? They just got to hang out and have fun and do all the things that his little heart desires without any of the responsibility.
[00:02:39] Second, the newness of having this relationship here made it exciting and fun and interesting, when that relationship, in the long run may not last very long. The cousin he connected with the most was a girl who just chatted at him a lot of the time. And I bet he would get annoyed with how much she wanted to talk. [00:03:00] But he was so hungry for that, that he loved it at the beginning, thinking that that was the answer, that was the best thing that would solve his problems.
[00:03:09] And then third, he was failing to see the other good things that he had because of the contrast of this thing that he desired that was right in front of him.
[00:03:20] Can you see the parallels of how we may be approaching the desires in our lives? Are we coming to God with all of this excitement and this desire for something we feel is good and righteous that we want so deeply to be fulfilled?
[00:03:39] *Maybe, God sees a bigger picture that we can't see and although it would delight God to give us that righteous desire, what if our view of what we want is not a clear view?*
[00:03:54] Think about something that you have been praying for. What have you been pleading for in your life that you just really, really want God to give you?
[00:04:04] Is it a goal that you've been wanting to accomplish, something you've been wanting to build and have be successful?
[00:04:12] Or maybe like my son, it's a relationship that you've been desiring, wanting to be seen, understood, or heard. It could be freedom from a struggle that you so desperately don't want to feel exhausted by anymore. Like my son who the next day woke up and told me about why school was so terrible and wasn't doing anything for him and none of the friends there were the type of friends that he needed to have and just felt so burdened... not seeing all of the good that was there in front of him if he had eyes to see it.
[00:04:50] Now, I don't want to diminish or invalidate any of the dreams of your heart. And this is not to say you're asking for the wrong things and God can't give it to you and you're being unrealistic. That's not my message here. But it did make me stop and think about some things in my life that I've been pleading for, desiring, thinking, "These are righteous desires, why can't you give them to me, God?"
[00:05:15] *But maybe, I'm not seeing the whole picture. And maybe you're not seeing it too.*
[00:05:22] Maybe God knows that if He gave it to you, that joy wouldn't last. Or that there's some learning and growing that is right where you're already at that will give you more joy in the long run than fleeting joy that comes like the situation where my son was on vacation and didn't have any responsibilities, thinking that was the ideal life. It gets boring and lacks purpose if you lived that way all the time.
[00:05:53] *This life is a time where God wants us to learn and grow and have joy.*
[00:06:00] So here's my invitation to you: hit your knees tonight and bring whatever it is that you're usually pleading to God to give you and take a moment to listen. Listen to what He has to say about your prayer. Maybe there's an expanded view of what it is that He's desiring for you.
[00:06:25] Maybe you're pleading for Him to help you build a cottage and have it be this beautiful little space where the garden and the shutters on the window and just this dreamy little home that could be comfortable for you. But He has something better in mind. He's building a castle! Because you are divine and your capacity is way more than a simple little cottage!
[00:06:52] *He wants you to have the greatest gifts on the earth, which is why He might not be giving you exactly what you're pleading for. *
[00:07:04] I love my son and I would love to give him a best friend or a sibling that is right his age with all of his interests, ready to hear him and support him. And that's really not realistic. Yes, there are those who will support us and love us and be there for us along the way. And I can put more effort in as a mother to help him have those type of relationships with the people around him. (Which, there are some, by the way, that he was not remembering in that moment.)
[00:07:32] God will bring to your memory the things you already have that are fulfilling the prayer that you're asking and maybe help you see with clearer view what's in store for you.
[00:07:48] *Behind every no from God is a better yes! A yes that will be more fulfilling for you, more joy in the long run. Ask Him to help you see that yes.*
[00:08:03] If you are getting a no, or you're not finding the fulfillment you're desiring from the things you are pleading for with God, trust that there's a better yes! And let Him help you see a bigger picture so you can find joy as you build towards that, yes.
[00:08:24] God is with you. God is good. And as you let go of the things you desperately hold on to, He will hand you better things. After all, He is a God who knows how to give good gifts. We just have to be ready to receive them.
[00:08:43] *What gift might He have for you today? Get on your knees, open your heart, and receive it. *
[00:08:52] Have a blessed day, my friend.
[00:08:54] You are radiant and God wants you to remember that truth. But sometimes you forget. Don't worry. I've got you! I've created some free resources that will help you live lighter and shine brighter. Check out my show notes for the links. Each week I do a newsletter that gives you inspirational tips and tools to move forward. One simple step at a time. We also jump in on a free monthly masterclass to discover more of that radiant view.
[00:09:32] If you are ready to really dive deep and see your life transformed with more self awareness, self confidence, and self love, you can also book a free Live Lighter session where we uncover the patterns where you are being stuck and see the path forward.
[00:09:53] However, God guides your next steps. Know that you are not alone on this journey, and we are here ready to support you. I can't wait to see how you discover a more radiant you.
