[00:00:00] Hello, my friends, welcome to another episode of Shining Through. I've been thinking about a moment in my life where I didn't know what any of my favorite things were: my favorite color, my favorite food. I had really lost myself in trying to survive and cope and be something that I thought that other people in my environment needed me to be.
[00:00:26] And I remember that one day in therapy, I just realized I don't even know myself. I don't know what I like to do or if someone asked me where to go to dinner, I couldn't even come up with my favorite place, because I had lost that awareness of what I even wanted.
[00:00:45] And I've heard so many people who have experienced the same thing. That they go through these traumas, these struggles, and they lose that sense of self. Even in one of our recent sessions with my group coaching clients, one of the women said to me, "I'm realizing that I may have been thinking negatively about myself over the past few years, and I didn't even realize it." I also remember a moment with my own father when I was talking about him taking care of himself and building that relationship. And he paused and said, "I've never considered that I have a relationship with myself." These moments, unfortunate as they are, are life changing because they shift us to have more awareness of who we are, what we want, and how to build a more personal relationship with ourselves.
[00:01:37] When we think about what we even like and how we want to take care of ourselves, what that self care would be, or what we actually want in life, we give ourselves that permission to want again, to have a desire, to listen to that desire. And it is a healthy practice. And I'm so grateful for that tool of self awareness.
[00:02:02] But I've also noticed how easy it is to slip into an obsession where we're constantly trying to find that thing that we truly authentically want. That's really aligned with us. Because we're so mindful and careful to listen to our wants and our needs that we can hyper focus on it sometimes. And I've actually been experiencing some of this in my own life recently, as I've needed to make some decisions about where I want to invest my time and my energy and what's important to me right now. And I kept asking myself, "What do I even really want?"
[00:02:41] And then my brain would run these scenarios and I'd think, "Oh, I want it to go this way." But then I'd think about how it could possibly end in a way that I didn't want. So I'm like, "I don't know if I really actually want that. I could fail over here, I could learn over here, but I'm not sure it's really what I want."
[00:02:58] And I kept chewing on this. over and over again, getting confused about what my desire was. And it was exhausting me trying to figure this out. And then one morning recently, I felt guided to turn on a presentation from a religious leader in my church. And he was talking about becoming like Christ and finding peace in those Christlike attributes. And in that moment, I felt my whole soul shift.
[00:03:29] *What I really want is those Christlike attributes. *
[00:03:34] Deep down in my soul, that's what I truly want. And I had this stirring in me and I sat down to the scriptures and I opened it up and I fell on Matthew 6 and in there it talks about the harvest being plentiful, but laborers being few. And in a past reading of the scriptures I had written in the margins: "I want to be a laborer!" And my soul felt at peace in that moment because I shifted my question from, "What do I want?" to, "What do I want to become?"
[00:04:13] And that answer was easy. I want to become Christlike. I want to be a laborer in His kingdom. I want to be the type of person who has consistent self care and shows up with proactive connecting relationships. I want to be purposeful with my time. I want to be physically strong and emotionally resilient, mentally clear, socially connected and spiritually centered. These attributes are what I truly want. And when I focused on this true meaning of what mattered to me, it was easy to see what's next.
[00:04:53] I dropped obsessing about whether to choose to go this way or that way and what result would happen in my life if I chose that. And instead, I asked, "Is this decision supporting who I want to become?" and the answer was clear.
[00:05:11] My friend, what are you focusing on? What are the prominent questions mulling over in your mind as you're trying to make different decisions in your life? Are you thinking through trying to figure out the end so that you can go around any struggle? Are you reacting out of fear that it might go south if you go that other direction? Are you chasing something that you think will make you happy if you finally can get that goal? If so, you may be struggling to make decisions to move forward in your life.
[00:05:45] *What if we shifted the question?*
[00:05:48] If you're trying to decide to grow your family, to get a new job, to move to a different place; if you're contemplating an invitation to serve somewhere or change your relationship; if you're investing in your physical, mental, emotional health; bring this question with you:
[00:06:06] "Which of these will support you to become who you want to become?"
[00:06:12] When you make that mental shift, it drops a lot of the negative chatter that comes from your natural response in your brain.
[00:06:20] Cause remember your brain likes to be efficient. It likes to conserve energy. It wants pleasure. It doesn't want pain and it will influence what you want to align with what it wants: to be comfortable, not to be pushed or stretched or take risks or be vulnerable. No, no, no. Your brain wants to chill! But you don't have to want that too.
[00:06:47] *The true goal is to transcend that natural brain and connect to a higher purpose.*
[00:06:53] So, yes, it is so important to acknowledge who you are, your likes, your dislikes, things that feel positive and self care to you.
[00:07:03] *But don't obsess over what you want at the loss of who you want to become.*
[00:07:09] You are already a divine daughter of an eternal Father in Heaven who loves you and has infinite belief in your worth. He gave you the light within you, and it's already there.
[00:07:25] Live in a way that honors that version of you.
[00:07:30] *Embrace her, become her because she's what you truly want in the end. *
[00:07:37] And when you have that vision, it will guide you to create a life that aligns with who you want to become.
[00:07:45] I believe in you, my friend. I see amazing things in you that you are already on the path of becoming! One of my favorite things about coaching you is that I get to hold up a mirror and show you the beautiful things that I see and that God already sees in you.
[00:08:05] *It's time for you to see them too. *
[00:08:08] Please my friend, get whatever support you need in your life so that you can transcend the struggle that gets in the way of you becoming who you truly want to become.
[00:08:21] What can you do today to help you move forward on that journey? Pick one simple thing and then do it.
[00:08:31] I believe in you, my friend. Choose to believe in yourself, too. Have a blessed day.
[00:08:39] Have you heard the exciting news? We are now doing group coaching where Christian women come together one hour a week. We do a little mini session and then we dive in deep and see how we can transform your life. It's only $20 a month. You can cancel it anytime, but it's only open for enrollment for a short period of time.
[00:09:01] So go to www.thelightcoach.com/join and come hang out with us. I can't wait to see you there.
