59 - The Parable of the Tree
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[00:00:03] Hi, my friends. Welcome to another episode of life after therapy.
[00:00:08] I have been doing a lot of study lately in the New Testament and one of the things that I have really appreciated at a deeper level this time around, is the parables of Christ. And he does such a beautiful job of looking at whatever is around him and knowing people in their situations and their day-to-day life and teaching them with parables that can bring their understanding to a deeper level. It's invited me to try and do this in my own life.
[00:00:40] And I want to share with you a parable that came to my mind when I was trying to help my four-year-old son process some of his big feelings. And although it was really beautifully packaged just for him, I really think that it could help you with whatever you might be struggling with right now 'cause I know that it's come up for me multiple times since it came to me.
[00:01:03] So I want to share with you today about the parable of the tree. So first, a little backstory on my four year old kiddo. Ever since he was really little, he always wanted to do things without any help. He wouldn't let me hold his hand as a kid, I would nurse him and he'd push me away. He didn't want to be coddled. He just wanted to be big. Well, about four weeks ago, he was showing off for a babysitter how big and strong he is by moving the bench next to our table. Now this is a big, heavy wooden bench that's really thick on the top.
[00:01:39] And as he was moving it, showing off his strength, it fell over and landed right across his toes. And it fractured his foot in multiple places. Now, the irony is this is the second time he's fractured this foot and it's the only broken bones we've had, even though I have four boys, but just saying this is the type of kid he is. And I love that about him, that he thinks he's strong and wants to do big things. But sometimes it gets him in trouble, hence the broken foot. And now because he hurt his foot he has to be in a boot. And can I tell you being the fourth boy and having to wear a boot, not being able to run or jump, or even honestly go outside for a few weeks because he fractured under his toenail and they were worried about it being infected, he's had to be inside away from the brothers he loves so much when they're playing and it's wearing on him.
[00:02:33] He did a great job at first and was really quite a good sport. I think it was while it was still really hurting so it motivated him to be okay calming down.
[00:02:42] But once it started healing a little, he just wanted to go and run and play and it started to just wear on him to the point where he turned to me once and said, "Mom, I just feel like I'm getting so many 'nos,' no to this and no to that. And I just am all done with no. " And he just started bawling and my mama heart broke because I wish I could tell him yes, but the doctor said no and so that means the answer is no. And I pulled them into my arms and gave him a hug and tried to come for him but I could tell that his heart was heavy.
[00:03:21] Well gratefully, he has amazing preschool teachers and they reached out to me and said, "Hey, we miss him. " They even sent a picture of a banner that the class made saying 'get well soon, Caleb!' It was so sweet. And they asked me if they could stop by and say hi. Well, I felt grateful and thought they were just going to give him a big hug and tell him they missed them and said, "Come on over. "
[00:03:43] But when they got here, they had a huge gift bag. That was literally the size of my son. And it had all these sorts of toys in there for him. One of those sets with marbles that you can put together and have it all go down and they had some clay things to make dinosaurs. But the one that he loved the most, was this little kit from Home Depot where you could build a boat and paint it.
[00:04:08] And at the bottom of this set was a little pin that he could put on his shirt and he was wearing it around with pride feeling a little hug every time he noticed it. That love from his teachers. And as a mama, I felt so grateful that they gave him that boost.
[00:04:25] Well, a few days later, he lost the back to that pin that held it on and he just had all of the sadness come right to the surface. Everything that had been better was now lost and hopeless.
[00:04:41] And on top of it that day, his brother got mad at him for losing one of his Legos. And he just went into a depressive spiral, like my sweet little four-year-old boy. I literally felt him being depressed. And he came to me and just said, "Mom, I just want to jump on the tramp. " and my mama heart knew that in that moment, I needed to be there with him.
[00:05:09] So I took him outside and I picked him up and I held him while I jumped on the tramp with him. And then afterwards we laid down and we looked up at the sky and listened to the birds. I turned to him and said, "Caleb, can you hear those birds? Can you hear their song? " And he's still sad and crying that he can't jump on the tramp, but a little bit calmer now.
[00:05:32] He turns to me and says, "Yeah, I hear them. " And I said, "Let's talk to the birds. I bet they would love to hear how you're feeling. Let's share our story with the birds. " And so we sat and had a conversation with those birds about how he's feeling and why it's so hard that he lost his pin and his brother's mad at him and that he can't run and jump and play and just told them his sweet little heart.
[00:05:59] And I think it's a beautiful thing. For us to just share what we are feeling, even if it's to the birds, right? And I told the birds how I felt as his mama and that it was hard for me to see him so sad but that it would be okay.
[00:06:14] Well, he turned to me and he said, "Mom, do you think I can pray and God will give me back my pin? "
[00:06:23] And in that moment, I had a decision to make. I had recently prayed with him about something that he had lost and then he found it and we had grown his testimony of prayer. And I was so grateful that that experience had happened recently so he had the thought 'let's pray and God can make it better.'
[00:06:43] And I could have said, "Yeah, let's pray. And let's go try and find that pin. " But in that moment, I felt this quiet voice say to me, "That's not the lesson he needs to learn right now. " and so I opened up my heart to what message God wanted him to know.
[00:07:03] So he gave me the parable of the tree. It went something like this. I turned to my son and I said, "You know, God can answer your prayers. You _know_ that he can answer your prayers but sometimes that's not the answer that we need. You see this tree in front of us? "
[00:07:25] And he looked up and there was a big tree that had grown out kind of over our fence, near our trampoline. And he said, "Yeah, I see the tree. And I told him, "Does that tree have any leaves on it right now? " He said "No. " I asked him, "Why, why does the tree not have its leaves? It's lost all of its leaves. "
[00:07:48] And he said "They fell down. " I said, "Yes, they fell down. They fell down to the earth because it got cold because things changed. And now those leaves are all gone. Do you think that tree feels sad that his leaves are gone? "
[00:08:06] Well, he sat there and processed a little bit and he said, "Yeah, It's sad to have things gone. " I said, "Yes, it can feel so sad to have things on. What do you think we should do? "
[00:08:20] His little wheels were turning and trying to figure out what was the solution and he said to me, "Well, we can just pick up all the leaves and put them back on the tree. " And he's so sweet that that was what his thought was. 'Let's give it back. We want to get it back to the way that it was before.'
[00:08:38] Are you seeing this parable here? The way that we want to just put things back to the way that they were before. Well, I turned to him and I said, "Honey, I would love to give that tree back its leaves, but where are they? " We looked on the ground and they were all crumpled up and brown and or gone, right?
[00:08:58] And I said, "We can't really give them back their leaves, even if we prayed to God and said, 'please give it back those leaves, those leaves were special to the tree and the tree is lonely and sad. Can we give the tree back his leaves?' " My son said "No, he's all gone with leaves. " And my sweetheart was like, "Yes, he is and I'm glad that you understand that those leaves are gone. "
[00:09:24] But then I invited him to see the future to see what was possible, what was next. And I said, "But guess what's coming for this tree? Look really closely on the edge of those branches, can you see what's starting to grow? "
[00:09:44] And he squinted his eyes and even stood up and got as tall as he could to see and he said, "Oh, there's little leaves. They're starting to be a little on the tree. " I said, "Yes, there are new little leaves starting to grow and those new leaves are beautiful. And guess what? They're even stronger. The tree gets stronger because it lets go of the old leaves and it starts to grow the new ones. And God is not going to give him his old leaves back but I promise you that God is still helping that tree grow. He knows that that tree needs to grow right now, not the old leaves. "
[00:10:30] Well, he started to nod his head and understand a little bit. And I said to him, "Do you have some things that are hard for you right now that you want it to be back the way that it was? " And he said, "Yeah. I have a big sad. " I said, "I know, just like this tree has a big sad and it looks kind of sad without all of its leaves. But I promise you that just like God is helping this tree grow and get new leaves, he is helping your foot grow and get stronger. And helping new things come in your life that will be even better than the pin that you lost. God cares about what you care about and he is helping you grow. "
[00:11:19] Well, he gave me a big hug and a big squeeze and I don't know how much he really understood because he's four year old, but he did process some of it because I felt the faith.
[00:11:29] *I felt that little bud of faith start growing in him, strengthening in him, giving him the chance to let go of what was, and move forward to the hope of something better. *
[00:11:44] What is going on in your life?
[00:11:46] Where you have maybe lost something that is important to you that you cherish that was special.
[00:11:55] Or you feel like you've gotten hurt and you need time to heal, but you don't really want to take that time. You'd rather be jumping and running and playing like the people around you that you see. That you desperately want to go be with them.
[00:12:13] My friend, I know that you miss whatever it is, whether it's a loved one that has passed away, a friend that you've lost, a job or a dream or a project that you were hoping would go one way and it really didn't work out.
[00:12:30] *Whatever it is that you might be praying with all your energy of soul that God will give it to you, do you have space to let go of the old and grow into the new?*
[00:12:45] God might have a better plan for you, a bigger, stronger, more fulfilling dream that you didn't even know about. He can take any season of your life, even if it feels like winter, and start growing and preparing for spring.
[00:13:06] You have that already in you, everything you need to grow and move forward. Let yourself see the new possibilities and have faith that God has a plan for you that is even better.
[00:13:21] I've seen it happen in woman after woman that comes to me wanting to create a new life to move forward but still kind of stuck looking backwards, trying to hold onto something that maybe it's time to let go of.
[00:13:38] I've watched them let go and turn and move forward, see what's possible, and create amazing things.
[00:13:46] They've done it, my sweet little four-year-old is doing it in his life, and I know that you can do it too. Believe that he's there. Believe that there's something even better coming just for you.
[00:14:03] Take care of my friends. Have a blessed day.
[00:14:07] Are you getting my TLC Tuesday emails? They are filled with tips, insights, and invitations to help you add light to your life. Go to www.thelightcoach.com/subscribe and make sure you're included. Because big things are coming and I don't want you to miss them. *Together, we can create confidence, connection, and clarity in life after therapy.*
