115 - Dare to Be Average
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[00:00:00] Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Radiant You. Of all the things that I learned from my college education, there's one moment that has stuck with me through the years. And unfortunately, it was an offensive comment from the worst teacher that I had my whole college education.
[00:00:20] See, this guy was supposed to be amazing because he taught one of the capstone classes that finished it off. It was supposed to be an awesome experience and I got to class and I remember him just sitting there sipping his diet Coke, telling us crazy stories that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. And I remember thinking, "Oh, this is going to be a waste of my time, but at least it's going to be a cakewalk." And then it came to test time. And I sat down to take the test. And his tests were the hardest tests I had taken in almost every class that I had. And I thought, "Wait a minute, you didn't teach us a dang thing. And you expect us to have memorized the textbook to the point of these nitty gritty details? This feels really unfair!" And I remember that almost every person in the class failed that first test. And I was at that point in my life where perfectionism was real and I was not gonna accept that grade. Luckily, I knew that if you were humble and diligent and really wanted to study, you could connect with your teacher and find a way to succeed. That was my experience up to that point.
[00:01:24] So I set an appointment, I went in and I was talking to him saying, "Hey, I did do the homework. I did study the textbook, but I was a little blindsided when the class experience didn't match the test experience and wondering if there's anything I can do to make up that extra work or raise my test grade up or what, what can I do to succeed in your class?"
[00:01:45] And I remember he looked in my eyes, paused. And said to me, "Dare to be average." I was totally shocked. I remember thinking, "Excuse me?! That's the only advice you have for me is to dare to be average. I want to succeed in your class and you're not going to give me any resources or support to succeed??" I was furious! No matter how much I pushed or tried or was polite or curious, he would not do anything to support me.
[00:02:19] And I limped along in that class, tried my best, still pulled out a decent grade. But I remember just feeling like he was a failure as a teacher and why in the world would anyone let him teach at a college level and he should be fired.
[00:02:33] Well, fast forward years later and I've gone through therapy and coaching and understanding of myself and realized that I had had a very serious problem with perfectionism. And that this teacher, no matter how terrible he was, he saw in me that I did not have the courage to fail.
[00:02:53] He knew that average was scary to me, that I had my value connected to my success, that I had to move and improve and do better and chase that perfect grade for me to feel okay with who I was.
[00:03:09] *He was challenging me to let go of my perfectionism and dare to be average.*
[00:03:15] Brené Brown has an awesome quote about perfectionism that highlights this exact relationship. She says, "Perfectionism is not self improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance."
[00:03:32] That's where I had lived for so many years. And quite frankly, I felt like this teacher was getting in my way of being able to do that and I'm so glad that he did. He helped me see I didn't have to be perfect, that I could dare to be average. Which, ironically, was a lesson I learned from a very less than average teacher. But, it stuck throughout the years, and I'm grateful for that reminder.
[00:03:59] And I think of it every time I hear one of my favorite songs called Dream Small by Josh Wilson. Here are some of the lyrics. It says, "Dream small. Don't buy the lie you've got to do it all. Just let Jesus use you where you are, one day at a time. Live well, loving God and others as yourself. Find little ways. Where only you can help. With His great love, a tiny rock can make a giant fall. So dream small."
[00:04:28] Dreaming small means doing things that are ordinary. And if we zoom out and think about what does ordinary mean? The definition of ordinary is in order or sequence, a routine day by day thing. Ordinary can be good, beautiful things. It's family life. It's a good, honest days of work. It's the day to day study and the prayer that helps you put things in order in your life so that you can feel at peace at the end of the day.
[00:04:58] *It's not necessarily doing extraordinary things that matters with your day. It's how you do the ordinary.*
[00:05:07] Mother Teresa once said, do ordinary things with extraordinary love. And I think that's what it means. For you to be a disciple of Christ, when you are just an ordinary person taking care of other ordinary people and ordinary day to day things, you are fulfilling your purpose in so many ways.
[00:05:31] Think about what you did today that was just ordinary: getting up and brushing your teeth. Ordinary. But you took care of the body that God gave for you, helping your kids get off to school if you have kiddos, or going to work to offer your skills to improve society and help the economy move forward.
[00:05:50] *What is your ordinary? And are you doing it recognizing that it really is extraordinary?*
[00:05:58] Now, many people get sucked into thinking that they need to be doing something bigger and better and it's not enough, because they don't see their own value and they can't be at peace in ordinary.
[00:06:10] And when we get stuck in that space, we start thinking more about ourselves, which is the opposite of Christlike discipleship. When we aren't settled with the ordinary and we make it appear like it's not enough, we're not satisfied or grateful for the blessings that God has given us, and we're constantly striving and pushing and stretching in ways that are exhausting for us. And then we judge the other people around us in ways that invite them to feel like they're not good enough.
[00:06:41] Christ surrounded himself with ordinary people like you and like me. And He brought out what was naturally extraordinary in them, but He didn't do it in a way that shamed them for their ordinary. He loved them. And He loves you right where you're at.
[00:07:01] *He sees your ordinary and knows it's extraordinarily divine.*
[00:07:08] Do you see your divinity too? Do you love yourself enough to be okay with who you are? right where you're at. Do you dare to be average?
[00:07:22] Now, I'm not saying don't progress, don't learn, don't push yourself. Of course we want to learn and grow and progress, but we don't do it to be happy or to find our worth. And we don't do it at the expense of the important day to day ordinary things. That song, Dream Small that reminds me of this moment with this professor long ago, it continues in its lyrics to say, "of course, there's nothing wrong with bigger dreams. Just don't miss the minutes on your way to bigger things, because these simple moments. Change the world."
[00:07:58] A smile to someone, a hug, a thank you, a meal that you made, a room you cleaned up so that it felt more at peace; the time you took to drive someone to school so that they could have another day of learning on their path to education.
[00:08:16] You are doing so many things already. Simple moments that are changing your world and the world around you. It's okay to be ordinary. You're amazing right where you're at, my friend. And your ordinary truly is extraordinary.
[00:08:38] *So no matter what you do or you don't do, you're not just average. You're divine. And I dare you to let that be enough.*
[00:08:50] Then choose to chase your bigger dreams because you want to, not to find your value.
[00:08:58] I hope you take a moment to appreciate all the little things, the average, ordinary moments that you have today because it's enough and you are enough. Have a blessed day, my friend.
[00:09:12] Stephanie - Overdub: You are radiant and God wants you to remember that truth. But sometimes you forget. Don't worry, I've got you. I've created some free resources that will help you live lighter and shine brighter. Check out my show notes for the links.
[00:09:33] However, God guides your next steps, know that you are not alone on this journey I can't wait to see how you discover a more radiant you.
